In an exhortation to young people published after his death, Pope Francis urged couples to prepare properly for marriage and commit themselves to “love that lasts a lifetime.”
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The missive, a foreword to the book “Love Forever” by the YOUCAT Foundation, urges young people considering marriage to “believe in love, believe in God, and believe that you are capable of taking on the adventure” of lifelong matrimony.
The Holy Father in the text described the traditional wedding vows of “until death do us part” as “an extraordinary promise.”
“Of course, I am not blind, and neither are you. How many marriages today fail after three, five, seven years?” the pope wrote in the foreword, published by the New York Times on Monday.
Asking rhetorically if it would be better “to avoid the pain, to touch each other only as though in a passing dance, to enjoy each other, play together, and then leave,” the pope countered that love “until further notice” is not love.
“We humans have the desire to be accepted without reservations, and those who do not have this experience often — unknowingly — carry a wound for the rest of their lives,” Francis argued. “Instead, those who enter into a union lose nothing but gain everything: life at its fullest.“
The Holy Father noted that he had urged the Church to “help you build a foundation for your relationship based on God’s faithful love.” He wrote that he “dreamed” of a catechumenate-style marriage formation program for the Church, one that might last years and would “save you from disappointment, from invalid or unstable marriages.”
Pointing to YOUCAT’s marriage formation material as a guide, the pope said couples should “absolutely participate in marriage preparation courses.”
“Before receiving the sacrament of marriage, a proper preparation is necessary,” the pope wrote.
“We cannot continue on as before: Many only see the beautiful ritual,” he said. “And then, after some years, they separate. Faith is destroyed. Wounds are opened. There are often children who are missing a father or a mother.”
Comparing marriage to the dance of tango in his native Argentina, Pope Francis said treating a marriage this way is “like dancing tango poorly.”
“Tango is a dance that must be learned. This is all the more true when it comes to marriage and family,” the late pontiff said.
Quoting his earlier apostolic exhortation Amoris Laetitia, the pope finished the foreword: “In young love, the dancing — step by step, a dance toward hope with eyes full of wonder — must not stop.”
